Grunties

The Grunty rhyme is a rhyming couplet, accentual, doggerel form from a first-person perpective. It threatens, insults, or manipulates a hated foe; boasts about the rhymer's power or goals; expresses the rhymer's strange behaviours and characteristics; or any combination of the three. Generally, the Grunty rhyme reveals more about the rhymer than their foe.

Each line typically has 4–5 stressed syllables in iambic or trochaic meter, almost always ending with a stressed syllable. The meter can change from one line to the next as long as the number of stresses stays the same.

The first line should rarely enjamb and should always end with a punctuation mark (typically a comma), while the second line should always end with an exclamation mark, question mark, or both. Sentence structure can be out of order. Other than that, punctuation can be used freely—lines can even be divided into smaller sentences.

Poems

  1. 2025-04-28

    My breath stinks, I must admit,
But I won't stop eating shit!

    Dark Souls. Kingseeker Frampt.

  2. 2025-04-19

    You don't have the spark, I'd say,
My boot will find your butt today!

    Dark Souls. Gwyn, Lord of Cinder.

  3. 2025-04-19

    Why you little! Can't you read?!
A magic wallop's what you need!

    Dark Souls. Dark Sun Gwyndolin.

  4. 2025-04-19

    Well, aren't you a clever clogs,
But now I'll release my dogs!

    Fell Axeman's Canto.

  5. 2025-04-19

    Trust me when I say you're kingly,
Don't mind if those flames are tingly!

    Dark Souls. Kingseeker Frampt.

  6. 2025-04-19

    Taste my magma, puny dunce,
You'll soon be dead and then I'll munch!

    Dark Souls. Quelaag.

  7. 2025-04-19

    So this doomed world's got you glum,
Your melancholy's rather dumb!

    Dark Souls. Crestfallen Warrior.

  8. 2025-04-19

    Skip the lunch, you'll get woozy,
When you spin in my jacuzzi!

    Dark Souls. Chaos Eater.

  9. 2025-04-19

    My treasure is my lovely smile,
Your stupid frown is out of style!

    Dark Souls. Mimic.

  10. 2025-04-19

    My slaughterhouse is quite delightful,
Do come in, you're quite the bite-ful!

    Dark Souls. Mildred Maneater.

  11. 2025-04-19

    My breath stinks worse than the blight,
I can't stop eating undead knights!

    Dark Souls. Gaping Dragon.

  12. 2025-04-19

    Little dimwit, call my bluff,
My lightning hammer's plenty tough!

    Dark Souls. Smough.

  13. 2025-04-19

    Just try and solve my forest mazes,
You'll be fried by moonlight lasers!

    Fell Axeman's Canto.

  14. 2025-04-19

    I'm in the majority,
There's one of you and four of me!

    Dark Souls. Four Kings.

  15. 2025-04-19

    If you try to make me squirm,
On you I'll breathe my cursed germs!

    Dark Souls. Basilisk.

  16. 2025-04-19

    If you think my masks aren't fashion,
Fight my babies for a bashin'!

    Dark Souls. Pinwheel.

  17. 2025-04-19

    I'd never backstab you, my friend!
I'd never send you to your end!

    Dark Souls. Trusty Patches.

  18. 2025-04-19

    I ride in style, you wretched thug,
My bone-wheel beats your ugly mug!

    Dark Souls. Bonewheel.

  19. 2025-04-19

    I bet you think your magic's smart,
But I cast fireballs when I fart!

    Fell Axeman's Canto.

  20. 2025-04-19

    Go on, try your hare-brained stunts,
My bombs will blast you into chunks!

    Dark Souls. Firebomb Giant.

  21. 2025-04-19

    Fly, my pretties! Scratch and scream!
Smash that knight to smithereens!

    Dark Souls. Anor Londo Gargoyles.

  22. 2025-04-19

    Don't trespass in my neighbourhood!
My hunting hounds will bite you good!

    Dark Souls. Capra Demon.

  23. 2025-04-19

    Don't pass me by, you grubby clown,
I'm in the basement, come on down!

    Dark Souls. Stray Demon.

  24. 2025-04-19

    Don't bother with those serpent goons,
I'll paste you soon, my golem looms!

    Dark Souls. Sen.

  25. 2025-04-19

    Don't be shy, get in my face,
Come and make friends with my mace!

    Fell Axeman's Canto.

  26. 2025-04-19

    Cross the bridge? Your chance you blew,
I'll roast you on my barbeque!

    Dark Souls. Hellkite Wyvern.

  27. 2025-04-19

    “Come and learn my arcane tricks,”
Is what I'd say if you weren't thick!

    Dark Souls. Big Hat Logan.

  28. 2025-04-19

    Buy my wares now that we're besties,
Quench your thirst with diet Estus™!

    Dark Souls. Merchants in general.

  29. 2025-04-18

    So what, you beat my dragonflies,
My axe will cut you down to size!

    Fell Axeman's Canto.